


Faster Alone

by Brightwing27



Category: Platoon (1986)
Genre: Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, M/M, Making Out, Memories, Trauma, Vietnam War, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-08
Updated: 2019-06-08
Packaged: 2020-04-12 15:28:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19134868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brightwing27/pseuds/Brightwing27
Summary: Chris sits there underneath the stars, where death and love once existed together, and thinks of Elias.





	Faster Alone

**Author's Note:**

> I love analyzing homoerotic subtext in war films, I cant help it! So heres my Chris/Elias fic ive been meaning to write forever, enjoy!

Chris thinks about Elias more times than he can count. There are times, when he's alone and the air is still, that he remebers the feel of Elias's skin, the tautness of it as it stretched over bone, lean and hard. He thinks of Elias like a phantom, appearing and diving back into the jungle with a smile, like nothing could touch him.

"He's just a man, Chris." King tells him the night Elias is killed, knowing without asking who Chris is thinking about. "Like you an' me. Ain't no God's out here."

Chris knows that, _knows_ that Elias's bones were made of the same stuff as his, same blood running through their viens, but something in Chris's mind tells him it isn't so. The way their hands fit together wasn't fleeting, the way their teeth clacked together underneath the stars that night wasn't a mortal occurrence. _No_ , he wants to say,  _thats what God is._

Maybe Rhah would have more to say, a way to connect the dots in a way Chris couldn't. But there was no one to tell this story to, anyhow. As he sits down in the dirt of the Bush, Chris thinks of Elias. A smile, diving back into the jungle.

Chris goes too quiet for King's liking, the older man backing off and letting Chris wallow in his own mind. He puts his head down between his knees, and grief hits him in waves.

How do you cry for a man you only loved for a short time? How do you know it was love? These are the questions Chris can't seem to answer, recoling from the word love like it might burn him if he gets too close. Memories sear into his brain;

Elias's lips on his, hands unsure and vunerable against his waist. Chris brings his hands up to his chest, noticing the way death and sweat all mingle together, but Chris doesn't care as long as Elias keeps kissing him like this.  
The panting as the kissing and the groping become too much for Chris, never being held like this, Elias finally holding someone again. The air is still and the stars are quiet. Its a revelation of sorts, love in the face of death.

Positively Shakespeare, Chris thinks, and hes laughing and crying at the same time because its not fair, damn it. Barnes and death are synomynous, but Elias brought something Chris couldn't, and still can't name. Elias was right in a world where everything seemed wrong.

Chris sits there underneath the stars, where death and love once existed together, and thinks of Elias.


End file.
